I’ve now written three blog posts explaining why I never, ever, ever, EVER, EVER, EVER tell people how it’s done.
OK, so here’s the thing: sometimes I can be a little over-emphatic.
I may have made my feelings about the “How Do You Do That?” question sound a little more black-and-white than they actually are when I explained my ethical objections to answering it, alongside my Father Christmas approach to responding.
You, dear reader, have been very patient in wading through these posts, and so now I will reward your perseverance by explaining the situations in which I take a slightly less dogmatic approach to the subject.
These situations arise when the “how” question arrives with a slightly different intent from normal — and it usually falls into one of two categories.
1. The business question: “Can you teach my sales team to do that?”
This question comes up when someone sees the potential value of what they’ve just witnessed — or at least what they think they’ve witnessed — and starts imagining what it could mean in the real world.
If you could really know what a customer was thinking, or the maximum a client would be willing to pay for your company’s widgets next quarter, that would obviously be incredibly useful.
But here’s the problem: I don’t really read minds.
I use a wide range of techniques to create the illusion of mind reading.
There’s an old saying about people with hammers seeing every problem as a nail. If you’re a skilled business person, it’s very easy to look at what I do and assume I’m using highly refined versions of the skills you use in business — especially in sales and customer relationships.
But the techniques that make a mind-reading show work are nothing like the skills that make a business work.
In fact, the only parts of what I do that would transfer cleanly into the real world tend to be skills involving deception, subterfuge and manipulation.
Which means:
- They simply wouldn’t belong in a healthy business environment
- They would be unethical
- And in many cases, used in a business setting, they would almost certainly be illegal
So no — as with almost everyone else who asks me “how”, I don’t teach businesses how to “read minds”.
What I can, and very happily will do, is work with management teams, trainers and facilitators to perform at conferences, team-building events and training sessions. That way, what I do can help inspire people to ask better questions, look at things differently, and take a more open-minded approach to change.
Learn more about corporate and conference performances
That is something I’m more than happy to do for you. It’s ethical, it’s effective, and best of all, it makes that training session or team retreat that no-one really wanted to attend a great deal more fun than it might otherwise have been.
2. The personal question: “Wait… you’ve just turned my world upside down.”
This version of the “how” question feels very different. It’s less bemused and more urgent.
It’s asked earnestly by someone who will often follow me outside after the show to ask me again, just in case.
It usually comes from someone who has just experienced a much more intense form of amazement than everyone else in the room.
They’re thinking something like this:
“Hang on. I just thought of a word — or a name, or a number, or a date. I know I didn’t say it out loud… and then this bloke revealed what existed only inside my head.”
And because I’ve already told them I’m not psychic, there’s a slightly unsettling conclusion that follows:
If he’s not psychic… then he learned to do this.
That’s where the urgency comes from. It’s not mild curiosity. It’s a great big stomach-punch of “I really need to know what just happened.”
Honestly, that intense reaction is one of the reasons I love what I do. Because underneath the jokes and cheekiness, the experience is genuinely strange. It pokes at how confident we all are in our perception and our memory.
But it’s also sadly based on a misunderstanding.
When I make my disclaimer at the start of the show, what this person often hears is: “These are the techniques that fake psychics use.”
The bit they either miss or haven’t fully taken on board is when I say: “I’m a liar, I’m a cheat — I’m a complete fraud.”
So yes, they understand that I’m not psychic… but they’ve also just experienced me naming a word they only thought of. And that can completely upend their understanding of physics, psychology or human interaction.
Generally, I’ll spend a moment with them, gently reminding them that this is all about lyin’ and cheatin’, and that the psychology involved isn’t ninja-level NLP wizardry — it’s the psychology of deception.
It’s a bit like the Father Christmas conversation. Delivered gently. Without making them feel stupid.
Because the fact they understand what mind reading would imply if it were real usually means they are one of the smarter people at the party.
OK… could you teach me?
Now we’re into the final category — the rare one.
These are the people who don’t just want closure. They want to learn.
Because that was awesome.
They want to be able to do it too.
Maybe they imagine it will make them more interesting at parties. Maybe they think it will make them more attractive. Maybe they think it will turn them into a 100% cast-iron mind-messin’ babe magnet.
I once thought that too.
In case you’ve yet to meet me, spoiler alert: it didn’t.
The women I impressed with my talents usually realised after about fifteen minutes that I’m actually rather dull.
Luckily, I met a somewhat delusional woman in 2018 who seems willing to overlook that fact.
So here’s the deal
If you’ve seen me perform and genuinely want to learn how to do what I do, I offer the same deal to everyone who asks.
I won’t explain the trick you just saw
If what you want is a neat explanation of the one thing you just experienced so you can put the lid back on the box — no.
That would spoil it for you and for everyone who hasn’t seen it yet.
But I might help you learn the road in
If you’re fascinated because you want to understand the craft and maybe learn it yourself, I’m all for that.
But there are a few conditions.
The terms: how to get me to take you seriously
Over the course of my 30-year career, five people have genuinely asked to learn.
I offered all five the same deal:
Show me you’re willing to put some work into it.
What I do is based in the art of deception. There is another related art of deception that is much easier to begin learning.
That art form is magic.
The deal is simple:
- Learn a couple of basic tricks — YouTube has hundreds of free tutorials
- Practise them
- Try them on real people
- If they don’t work, try others
- Practise more
- Get good enough to fool people
- Send me a video of you performing two tricks
That’s it.
Show me that you’re motivated enough to teach yourself the basics.
If you do that, you’ve moved from curious audience member to fellow performer.
And once you’re a fellow performer, I’m very happy to help by:
- Pointing you towards useful resources
- Explaining the core principles
- Helping you decide where to go next
Please note: this applies to people who have seen me perform in person. I’m not looking to become an online mentor for strangers.
One more thing…
I’ve made that offer five times over the last 30 years.
Would you like to guess how many people actually followed through?
None.
Not one of them came back with a video.
I don’t know for certain why, but I have a couple of guesses.
Learning to deceive people without looking like a total idiot is hard.
- You have to ask people if you can show them something
- You have to perform
- You have to risk failing
- You have to risk getting caught cheating
- And you have to keep going anyway
Maybe those five people simply discovered they didn’t want it badly enough.
Or perhaps they found their own path into learning the craft without needing my help.
All of my work is self-taught. The information is out there. You just have to be willing to look for it.
And if someone did go on to discover the craft for themselves, I genuinely hope they’re now having enormous fun with their new hobby, side hustle or career.
Because making people feel like kids again — even just for a few minutes — is a wonderful job.
